Tag Archives: physics

Haven review: Clustertruck

Haven Reviews: Clustertruck


Most kids are familiar with the game the floor is lava, Clustertruck is just that. If the furniture was a convoy of speeding trucks with terrible driving skills and questionable physics. Every thing takes place in a first person view, where the only skill at hand is jumping and mostly precise timing. One thing is for certain, the title is very accurate. There is indeed cluster of trucks within the game. But you’ve probably figured that one out by now. It is a fast, fun and challenging game, with a level editor made for really sadistic people. After all nothing screams pain and suffering like a custom made tracks that bends the physics to the max. Which can lead to some unfortunate glitches and terrible stuttering.


Incidentally the very specific way the physics works and the slightly randomized chaos that occurs. Is what makes it so fun and over the top. Though, lasers and that damn log across the road is a real killer. I can’t count the number of times I died on those. The drivers in Clustertruck is the most single minded and task oriented bunch I’ve ever seen. Totally relentless and shows a basic disregard for anything in their way. Including incoming traffic and the resulting explosions are delicious.


The score at the end of a level is dictated by how fast it was completed and the points gained. Actions such as having air time, or leaping over exploding trucks gives point as rewards. When one stage is done, a new one is unlocked. It’s simple, slightly addictive and it works.20161003161248_1

Music in Clustertruck helps the atmosphere and is surprisingly catchy. Though it started to creep upon me like a bad hangover, after failing a jump for the twentieth time. However the music is good on it’s own and can be bought separately.20161003161226_1

Graphically the game is love polygon, with a touch of cartoon simplicity. Which makes it very easy to notice dangers and act accordingly, despite all the chaos going on. There are also several themes, as the stages progress, such as a desert and green plains,


There are steam achievements as well, plus a multitude of levels. Which is where the re-playability comes from. However since it is a first person game, it is not one for everyone. Some people can’t handle jumping from that angle at all. Luckily I’m not one of those. Aside from that, the game is a decent time sink and a fun challenge. At least for some hours every now and then. Also there is a surprise at the end of the campaign.


Disclaimer: We received this game for review purposes only. As such, all views in this article are our own. No money has been exchanged for this.

Njål H Sand

haven Reviews: V2000

v1 V2000
Retro games and insane challenges is a thing these days. Let me give you a challenge and a treat; A real lesson in game design for all those hard core macho players out there. V2000 is a very odd game with a fun concept but a very flawed execution. According to the story and in-game intro dragons attacks a series of small worlds with a contagious virus and giant bugs among other things.
In order to fight this infestation a weird vtol (vertical take of and landing) craft is deployed


The main reason why the game is so damn hard and broken, is the controls. The craft can’t slide sideways and aiming is quite shit. Nor can the camera actually rotate, which makes this a very tricky business. However the game is far from impossible and each level is unique and interconnected. In order to win the nest has to be destroyed and the infestation must not reach critical mass. Or enough civilians die. Tough at that point it’s just to hit restart. Sure there are extra lives, but those are limited. There are only so many medals to collect. On is gain from finishing the level, while the other ones are hidden in various spots.

The other challenge is that each level is a puzzle of sorts and usually require weapons from another world. Hover these weapons can only be unlocked by ferrying civilians off to the factory, where they will produce new upgrades and guns. After all some enemies are bullet proof to the max. The craft itself has two modes, flying and floating and can be submerged by carrying a weight.

Graphically the game was quite decent for its time, with waves in the ocean, some physics and in full 3D. Naturally the physics is what makes things so hard at times. Touch trees, fences, buildings and such and the craft takes damage. Not only that it will also be bounced backwards as the thing in question usually explode. Which makes the fixed camera and floaty craft a real thorn in the buttocks to deal with. Which surprises me a little that games like the Silver Surfer has been been completed and recorded. One of the very noticeable challenges in V2000 includes, drowning white lizards things through mind control. Rolling boulders down a cliff and have them crush various hives, which otherwise are immortal and a slew of other challenges. Each world is different and very, very challenging.v3

Back in the day the PC version apparently had a versus mode as well. Tough the PC version will not keep the save file when exiting. Naturally this makes the Playstation the best version, if you can get a copy and get it running. Emulators can be a fickle mistress when it comes to weird old and virtually forgotten games. Also, good luck searching for a copy, V2000 is a painfully generic title.

Njål H Sand

Haven Review: Polandball: Can into space

20160722105307_1Polandball: can I into space

Poland is an anthropomorphic ball, which represent Poland. For some reason Polandball wants to go into space, so he cobble together a rocket from everything in the back yard, the kitchen and everything in-between. Apparently it is based on a user generated meme based webcomic of sorts, that I knew virtually nothing about, that I have no intention to read. I have to many other things to spend time and resources on.


As a game Polandball is very simple indeed. After all there is only who ways a rocket can go, upwards towards the heaven or crash and burn. Which will happen a lot, since all the other balls in the world are in the way. Each country is a meme filled stereotype with a questionable personality, whom spouts random mangled quotes when hit. Some of these pesky bastards will suck you dry or cut you to pieces, while others are just content with being fat and bloated. Especially Russiaball have a habit of hiding behind a cloud making in annoyingly hard to avoid him. On the way upwards a crap ton of random powerups are spawned and these are needed to get even further. Such as a thick wad of money, in order to upgrade the junk rocket. Fuel to fill the tank, as the dingy rocket will eventually run out and go kaboom. Magnets that sucks in the pickups, for a very short time and hamburgers that fills health. Every now and then pot smoking floating balls can be found, they give a small speed boost In the background a jaunty upbeat tune is played, on it’s own it is not a bad song. But it can become a bit mind numbing after a while. The same with the gameplay. Despite the upgrades that can be bought for collected cash, I have no idea if here is an end to Polandballs journey into the abyss of space.


Especially when you consider that after 8000 meters you are virtually there already.  Gameplay is very easy to grasp, A and D steers the rocket, while W is for boosting and S is for breaking and that is all there is to it. Graphically it is not bad, but there is not much to talk about either, however I do like the changing weather. Though the country balls aside from Polandball look like shite. To make a long story short, it is a hard to recommend such a time sink. It is not bad, just not very rewarding, nor is it very interesting. Let me put that another way, I feel my brain seeping out of my ears, while a bloated fly is feasting on my brain dead corpse. On the flip side, there are steam achievements.

Disclaimer:  We received this game for review purposes only. As such, all views in this article are our own. No money has been exchanged for this.

-Njal Sand-