Haven Editorial: Borderlands Movie?

BORDERLANDSLionsgate has announced plans for a Borderlands movie, and I could go on and bore you with facts about funding and all that jazz. After all, riveting budget numbers are very insightful. However, that you can find anywhere, and it’ll probably become more relevant if the film is ever completed.

Generally speaking, video game movies suck…especially when Hollywood or Uwe Boll is involved. This stems from some very simple facts. Most directors don’t care about the source material, even if said material is a film on it’s own. It’s not rocket science. A very good example of such a movie is Max Payne. The game is about a cop on the run after a junkie kills the cop’s family and partner, and frames the cop for the deeds. So a sensible script writer would just rip the plot and borrow heavily from the action scenes, or even incorporate Max Payne 2 elements. Yet for some unfathomable reason the folks who make these movies can’t do that.

Lionsgate was successful with The Hunger Games (2012), I’ll give them that. But the Borderlands game series has an unusually good plot, colorful characters and wacky humor. I therefore don’t trust them with the movie! Besides, Telltale Games has already released, and is continuing to make episodes of Tales From the Borderlands, which takes a more narrative approach.

Personally, I imagine the Borderlands movie will focus on violence, as well as one or two characters who look nothing like they do in the game…though I guess Vin Diesel or The Rock could pass as Brick. The action will be over the top with few breaks, and focus mainly on the antics of the comic relief: Claptrap. Add to that some Lilith cleavage and things that go boom, and there you have it (but not before turning the violence down to PG-13). Forget about the original story; just sprinkle it with philosophy and some sort of alien invasion. Mind you, this is pure speculation and sarcasm on my part. But from what I’ve learned, sarcasm holds a grain of truth.

Can the production team prove me wrong?


-Njål Sand-