Tabletop Editorial: 4th edition DnD

I’ve started keeping a journal for my 4th edition monk and am planning to start posting the entries here. Feel free to read and give me your thoughts. Thanks guys!

They say that Hell is being surrounded by people worse then you. That’s what this place is. Hell. Between the egotistical moron who’s saved my life on one hand but runs forward without concern from himself, and the gibbering idiot who flips between three different voices I feel like I’m being punished. Punished for what though? Upon first meeting these two I knew that there was something squirrely about them both. The egotistical one (later found out to be named Javrim) decided to move forward without asking. The damn fool tripped over some wire and was immediately filled with arrows. I don’t know what he does for a profession, but he’s clearly not cut out for much more than a meat shield. As for the man with 3 names (Jesse James Giovanni, odder names have never been heard), his ramblings and sheer luck are prone to make me question my own sanity.

As we continued down the corridor, we found several more traps including a snake drop from the ceiling and a pit that included a chest with a map inside. From the ceiling where the snakes were, JJG managed to acquire several pieces of crystal that looked like they may fit together, as well as some random loot. I have no idea where he intends to store it, especially since we all woke up in meager rags.

The map turned out to be a key for a puzzle that was further ahead. The floor was covered in glyphs that were illegible. Of course, the meat shield ran forward at his own reckless pace, eventually being shot and gassed before getting across. I myself was also gassed with a potent toxin. The insane one managed to cure my toxin. I’m still not sure what to think of him, though I trust him while he is useful. The meat shield is as trustworthy as I can throw him for the moment.

imagesFurther down the hall we came across a skull lord blocking the door and the route to what we assume to be our escape. We all three were battered and beaten, but due to my superb sense of timing and my skills, I managed to single-handed save the day by destroying the Skull Lords staff that was summoning pathetic minions of undeath. I collected the staff as a boon for my efforts while the others fought over the bits and ends. Amongst the debris I happened to find a skull headed key, clearly designed for door that the Skull Lord had been guarding. I listened as the other two squabbled over whose idea was the best for opening the door while I stood smugly with the answer between my fingers. Suddenly, the madman threw a dagger (where’d he get that?) into the lock from ten feet away with such a force that the door itself opened. I stoop mouth a gap as I watched a magical doorway open to reveal the path out.

We continued down the new corridor, my mind in shock knowing what I just witnessed could not have happened. The meat shield ran ahead as usual leaving me behind with the madman (I’m not sure if he’s just a gibbering idiot anymore). We heard the screams, though indiscernible over a light continuous roar. As the madman and I approached the mouth of the tunnel, we saw meat shield and a strange elf on some pillars above a pit of lava. The elf was locked down so I naturally took it upon myself to get the key to get him down. Flying to the top (Flew? How did I do that anyways? Something to think about later. I just knew I could do it and didn’t question it). As soon as I unlocked him though he immediately swapped places with me. In my panic at the prospect of being locked and killed by this fool before I could exact my revenge I broke the elf’s knees. The meat shield got the idea in his head to destroy the key this time with the rapidly rising magma. I wonder what I would have done to him if he had been wrong and the destroyed key kept me from leaving. Regardless, Meat Shield was right and everything reset, including the elf. We continued forward and came to a fork in the road. While the madman ran to the left side I followed the meat shield to the right. I figured he’d be best to take hits. We came across the elf again who claimed to be a higher power or something. I don’t know. I lost interest and just wanted to hit him for trying to kill me. Meat shield said some words but before I knew it the blathering fool came back in immediately talking about a dragon and mountains of gold. As soon as I heard Dragon I immediately wanted to slay it. The others disagreed, but what do they know. Dragon Meat is a food not for men but for Kings.

-Sean White-